Browsing All posts tagged under »Deke«


November 5, 2013


Once, during a ‘DK drive-by’ (DK’s term for his unannounced visits to my home), I bemoaned my messy hair and lack of makeup. DK fiddled with my sloppy ponytail and grinned, “I like it. It makes you look vulnerable. You’re even more sexy when you’re vulnerable.” It took six or seven years after my relationship […]

Halloween one

October 31, 2013


“You have forever ruined mermaids for me.” One Friday morning in late October of 2008, I got a completely unexpected text from DK. (Neither of us were big texters then; we very rarely exchanged them. More’s the pity we didn’t keep it at that in the following years.) He would be finishing up an appointment […]

The hard road

October 21, 2013


When DK talked about why we couldn’t be together in a more meaningful way (the times we spent together he parceled out stingily; they were always when he wanted to be stimulated by my mind and body), the reasons were often cryptic: “I do keep you at arm’s length, but not for the reasons you think”, […]

Books in Bath

September 23, 2013


I traveled to Bath last week to see about a bookstore. I had never been to the Somerset city before, not in the years I lived in England nor during any of the many visits I have made in the years following. Of course I’d heard of it, but it wasn’t even on my list […]

Happy Birthday

September 10, 2013


I am on the far side of the Atlantic; in another country, another culture, another world. Another life. But I am not completely partitioned off from my ‘real life’ while I am on this holiday. My Macbook Pro accompanied me this trip so I could do a trial run of working remotely, away from my […]

none needed

July 25, 2013


Andy always said I think too much and DK said my brain needed a dimmer switch.  Both of which are sometimes true.  When I wrote I messed up I had gone too deep into my thoughts and fell into a self-flaggelating dark space. I have no need to forgive myself, although it is true I continue […]


July 24, 2013


Some experiences and relationships penetrate me so deeply it takes me a very long time to work through them. Maybe too long, but who is to say what the time limit should be on such things? Do we question that someone who has lost a loved one, be it child, spouse, parent or friend, will […]