Browsing All posts tagged under »conflicted love«

I peeled bits of straw

January 5, 2014


To read or be read to by a love in a sensual setting was a private desire I had held close for most of my adult life. I don’t mean reading snippets of Dave Barry’s column loud enough so my partner can hear them and guffaw in response from the bathroom. Or to be sitting […]

The unexamined life

December 27, 2013


“The unexamined life is not worth living.” So said Socrates, via Plato. And oh, there is much todo over the meaning of this philosophical nugget, even now, so many centuries after it was first uttered. (Disclaimer: I have not yet read Plato’s Apology in full.) They all interest, but don’t unduly concern, me. For me, it […]

What if, if only #2

December 8, 2013


There are so many junctures in mine and DK’s relationship that, when I think about them, are often followed by, “If only.” The ‘if only’ now is mostly just “if only DK had been upfront, honest and looked me in the eyes to say what he had to say.” Our path twisted and twined, in […]

crazy-making #1

December 6, 2013


Text from DK the night before Valentine’s Day, 2012: Received: Mon Feb 13 00:53:45 CST 2012:  Tonight would be a good night to sleep together. I cannot count how many times he texted me similar sentiments but would pull back if I said, “Okay then!” Of course I didn’t know at the time he had […]

Gaze long

December 4, 2013


He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.  – Friedrich Nietzsche I must try harder to find my way to forgiveness before I have gazed too long. Not for DK; a person […]

The hard road

October 21, 2013


When DK talked about why we couldn’t be together in a more meaningful way (the times we spent together he parceled out stingily; they were always when he wanted to be stimulated by my mind and body), the reasons were often cryptic: “I do keep you at arm’s length, but not for the reasons you think”, […]

Two takes

October 18, 2013


I came perilously close last night to posting an entry that would be more at home in my private journal. I seem to be at a crossroads or pivotal point or, more likely, I’m just stuck in the mud. With that in mind, I’ve decided to post both versions of what I wrote last night […]