Browsing All Posts filed under »mind«


July 25, 2014


My last mini-post apparently planted an errant seed in my subconscious: last night I dreamt about DK. As far as I can tell, time is pretty elastic in the realm of dreams. In the waking world, for all I know this dream may have only been 30 seconds long. But in the slumbering one, it […]

I can hear you

January 13, 2014


I can hear your mind buzzing and whirring from where I am. :) Text from DK to me, sent on one very, very cold January day. I was reminded of it today as one thought piled upon another, which birthed an idea and another blossomed from that one, and then another; like Jack’s beanstalk, my […]

I don’t know

December 21, 2013


“We are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4am of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who […]

What if, if only #2

December 8, 2013


There are so many junctures in mine and DK’s relationship that, when I think about them, are often followed by, “If only.” The ‘if only’ now is mostly just “if only DK had been upfront, honest and looked me in the eyes to say what he had to say.” Our path twisted and twined, in […]

on Joy and Sorrow

December 5, 2013


I am sometimes filled with so much sadness when I think of DK and the losses I associate with having known him. And yet, the sorrow seems buffered now, as if wrapped in cotton wool. I know that is my psyche protecting me but I’m not sure it’s the best method of defense. There were […]

Gaze long

December 4, 2013


He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.  – Friedrich Nietzsche I must try harder to find my way to forgiveness before I have gazed too long. Not for DK; a person […]


November 5, 2013


Once, during a ‘DK drive-by’ (DK’s term for his unannounced visits to my home), I bemoaned my messy hair and lack of makeup. DK fiddled with my sloppy ponytail and grinned, “I like it. It makes you look vulnerable. You’re even more sexy when you’re vulnerable.” It took six or seven years after my relationship […]